so you're turning 30, eh?

I may have mentioned in passing that I'll be turning 30 in a few months, and that I lament the fact that there are many young composer competitions that state you have to be under 30 to qualify.

Because of this, I now believe every 29-year-old composer feels this undeniable sense of panic to win some prestigious young composer award before their birthday. Why? A couple of over-29 composers told me they went through the same exact thing.

Here's what I have to say about this. Did I initially panic? Yes, I wrote about it (on my birthday). Have I figured out that I can still be a successful composer post-29? Yes, especially after I received this rejection letter. Hey, at least I tried (and arguably I am still trying).

What I'm saying is this: I will try my absolute hardest to do what I love doing most because I was meant to be a composer. I truly believe this. I will support myself writing music, and my goodness, I will write that bloody opera! I won't have to resort to working retail because, frankly, I already did that in my early 20s.

Onward and upward, I say.